Three months ago I went to see my doctor (don’t let the time frame discourage you). I was informed that my triglycerides were high, very high, and my good cholesterol was, well, the polar opposite. I was informed that if I didn’t want to have a heart attack before I hit 40 I needed to cut some of the fat and artificial sweeteners out of my diet and increase my physical activity.As early death is not currently on my list of life ambitions, I have taken her advice. I am down to one diet soda a day, I have been caught eating salads, I have grounded myself from all elevators (I work on the 5th floor), and I have taken to a religious regiment of increasingly difficult pushups. (This is where Missy makes a quip about my employer).
I have personally seen and felt the effects of these efforts for a while and have often tried to show my loving wife, Kodie, the effects of my efforts. She typically says something to the effect of “Oooh, looking good honey!”
Being the trusting soul that I am, I have taken all of her compliments at face value until a few nights ago. As I was changing to go to bed Kodie came in to our bathroom. Looking at my arms she exclaimed “Holy cow! You really are getting stronger!”
I gave her a dumb founded look and said, “This is what I have been showing you for that last few weeks.” To which she replied, “Well I was just being NICE then. THIS time I can REALLY see a difference!”
This comment has left me with some conflicting emotions. On one hand it looks like I am REALLY making some noticeable progress, which is good. But on the other hand I no longer feel I trust in the sincerity of any compliments I may receive from my wife, which is not so good. I am so torn over these conflicting feelings that I am at a loss as to the validity of my own perception of reality.
Maybe early death isn’t such a bad idea…and what is a triglyceride anyway?
