Unjust Vilification

This may sound petty for a blog, particularly as I have not written anything in the last four months, but I feel compelled to stand and defend myself. A certain wonderful person, who will remain nameless, has taken it upon herself to portray me as a spineless woosie who she delights in tricking into kissing children who have been licking toilet brushes.

I want to take this opportunity to say that she is the best person I know and I am lucky to have married her, but I feel I must stand for my honor.

First, there is nothing wrong with eating a hotdog for breakfast. At least I didn’t wrap it in bacon! Thought I have had the bacon dog before (thanks to Stan’s hot dogs on the bench) and it was most tasty.

Second, I may be a bit vocal about my impending doom when I am ill but it is only done as an act of self preservation. Actual recent sick time conversation:

Me at the dinner table: “Honey, I don’t feel well.”

Mrs. Wonderful: “Suck it up.”

Me: “I think I am going to throw up.”

Parker: “Mom, McKay is bugging me.”

Mrs. Wonderful: “You probably ate too much junk food.”

McKay singing: “Rudolf the red nose…”

I get up and walk around the corner to the half bath.

Parker: “Stop it McKay!”

Mrs. Wonderful: “Parker let her sing!”

Me retching violently in the back ground for ten minutes.

Parker: “McKay, stop it!”

I hobble back to the living room, obviously spent from my intestinal battle.

Mrs. Wonderful: “Where have you been?”

Me: “Did you not hear me? I was throwing up.”

Mrs. Wonderful: “What, are you bulimic now too?”

Me: “I love you.”

Mrs. Wonderful: “Why does it stink over here?”

Third, as she stated “Davis men spoil the women in their lives. I think they are amazed that not only did we pick them, but we also stick with them.” All that I have to say to that is…yes. I am amazed that she has stuck with me for almost nine years now (thank you sweetie).

Lastly, the toilet brush thing was just mean.